Signora Sheila

That’s a question I often ask myself.  Not ‘Why am I here on this earth?” No, that question was answered years ago, many years ago at this point, when Christ entered my heart.  I was created because He wanted me to be. Just as He wanted you and  every piece of creation. He formed us and formed us into being. We are here because it is His desire.

Why Am I Here?

But why am I here in this blogging/social media world?  Could it be that this is something He also wants?

In His providence over our lives, God gives us certain things. Call them gifts or talents. Or perhaps they are simply our leanings, inclinations, or  desires. He places them in our hands or plants them in our hearts. He puts them where He wants them.

I am not here because I want likes or followers (although I love interacting with all of you!) I am here because it is a way of sharing. First and foremost, it is a way of capturing and recording the thoughts impressions that fleet through my mind. Keeping a record of the past – the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Because when we look back at the past, we see that God turns even the ugly into beauty.)

Sometimes I collect random seemingly nonsensical things. Things that Hubby and I like to call ‘flying paper wind.’

That’s a name we invented with our grandchildren one windy day years ago when we saw paper dancing about in the wind. If paper could have feelings, it seemed to be saying “I’m glad to exist. I’m glad to be here. I’m glad to be dancing.”

We turned that flying paper into a song and would sing it with the children in the car, along with our  ‘Zoom zoom’ song.

When nonsensical makes sense

Of course, we know that sheets of paper have no thoughts or feelings, apart from what we give them. But our nonsensical nonsense somehow made sense. If that makes any sense at all! (Which I doubt, but it seemed to at the time.)

So why am I here?

I realize that God has given me this platform. He has given me the ability and inclination to write. It comes so easily to me most of the time. Hubby tells me that he labors over every paragraph he has to write.

So why do I sometimes run from it?

Why do I run from what I know comes from God? It’s a question I have long wrestled with. The only answer I come up with is that I forget that I Am Not an Orphan, and never can be one.

I guess the fear of disapproval and rejection has been ingrained in me for a long time. Instead of embracing what I know God has for me, I sometimes run from it. I am afraid of failing, fear of displeasing or bothering someone, or of being laughed at.

Italy is not an easy place in which to serve God. But not for reasons you might expect. It’s not so much that the Catholic church opposes Protestantism and the state favors Catholicism by granting them special favors. While these things are challenging, one of Italy’s main problems, as outlined in Operation World, is the lack of “cooperation among churches.” Division has been a legacy of Protestant believers here.

Thankfully, this situation is slowly changing, but dealing with it is the hardest thing of all. I think most believers struggle with the rejection and fear that it creates. Rather than encouraging one another, it often seems that people are just waiting for others to fail. Perhaps this is because they fear the other person getting ahead or gaining more influence.

Paul’s words to the Galatians spring to mind: When we have the opportunity (and we can be sure that God will provide such opportunity) we must do good to others – especially our fellow Christians.

So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Galatians 6:10

Let us hope for the best for others. Pray for them and be their cheerleading squad!

Just imagine what they could achieve with that kind of support. So what if they get ahead of you? It’s good because then they can lead the way — at least we won’t be walking alone. They might gain more influence. There’s nothing wrong with that — after all, we’re on the same team. When one of us wins, we all win as long as we’re working together for God’s kingdom.

Encouraging others is not a problem for me. If I love someone, I want them to succeed. If I wanted them to fail, then I would be nothing but a narcissist. And I don’t want to be such a despicable person.

No, I’ve had another problem. I tend to run away from the rejection or try to hide from it. If I don’t try anything, then I can’t fail and others can’t wish for (or even try to bring about) my failure, can they?

This leads me to an even greater problem. Because not trying is a type of failure in itself. I believe it saddens God’s heart, too. After all, He is our biggest cheerleader. He wants us to succeed, get ahead and have influence for Him.

If we sit in a corner covering our face like the bunny in the photo, we cannot bring glory to God. Nor can we glorify Him if we hide our talents away instead of using them for Him.

So today, I’m making a declaration. I’m done with hiding, especially from bad people. It is those who wish others to fail who are in the wrong. They are the ones who should cover their faces in shame.

I’m going to run like the boy with his paper airplane. He may be deceiving himself into thinking that it’s reaching great heights. But it’s certainly flying higher than any paper airplane hidden underground. It’s definitely achieving more than any talents we hide away.

What I do may seem like a nonsensical waste of time, but it’s much more sensible than hiding away. Especially when we have an extraordinary cheering squad. So extraordinary, in fact, that it’s heavenly!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2

📷 Image credits: straw hat; boy with airplane; scared rabbit.