Signora Sheila

Marriage is a learning process. I’ve found that no matter how long you’ve been married or how great your marriage is, there’s always something new to learn. Some area to improve, or things to forgive. 

Hubby and I are celebrating 41 years today. And for us, it’s a celebration of God’s faithfulness. He has helped us stay together and grow in love. And through all these years of trials and blessings, He has taught a lot. And we would not be here today without those lessons!

9 tips for a building strong foundation:

1. Stay united

There are many forces at work that seek to destroy marriage and the unity of couples. Work to stand with and for your spouse. Don’t let other people, outside interests, or even work come between you and the most special person in your life. Nothing and no one should ever be more important than him or her, except God.

2. Kids are temporary guests

Children are much loved and welcome additions to the family, but really only temporary guests. It’s important to love our kids and cherish them. But they’ll move on. Our spouse is here to stay. And now that it’s just the two of us, I see even more how important it was to work on keeping communication strong and intimate. Unity is the key foundation.

3. Forgive every day

Every day there will be things to forgive, both big and small. If unity is the foundation, forgiveness is the cement that holds it in place. We’ve seen that withot forgiveness, the foundation begins tu crumble little by little, and often over small things. A certain look, a word blurted out without thinking.

Why ruin a lifetime of happiness together over small things? And the big things? With Christ’s help, we can forgive even those, just as we wish to be forgiven.

4. Don’t try to change your spouse

Stop trying to change your spouse, because that’s God’s job. Our job is to love them unconditionally, while also inspiring them to be better. Encouragement and prayer change hearts and minds, and are far more effective than all the nagging in the world!

And remember that you loved this person enough to get married. If you wanted someone who was different, you should have chosen someone else!

Marriage is for keeps. It’s worth keeping and worth the work it takes!

Signora Sheila

5. Spend time together

Happiness is (or should be) marriage to your best friend. That’s why it’s important to make time to talk and find common interests to share. Especially when there are children still at home and so many responsibilities.

6. Read and pray together

Take time to pray and read God’s Word together. As disciples of Christ, we have learned that prayer and the Bible are the two most important things that draw us closer to Christ and make us like Him. And the thankful heart that this cultivates also makes us ever more grateful for the gift we have received in our spouse.

7. Become a giver and not a taker

Instead of thinking about what we want from our spouse and marriage, we try to become the one who gives and keeps giving. To really care about the other person’s happiness and do everything possible to nurture and build him or her up.

8. Tend finances carefully

Financial difficulties can cause a lot of stress. That’s why we’ve made a commitment to stay out of debt. We try to spend little, be content with simple things, and never spend money we don’t have.

9. Find new things to love

None of us is perfect. We are works in progress, growing and changing. So is our spouse, and that gives us even more things to love about him or her. As they work to improve, let them know that you appreciate it. Try to notice new things to love about your spouse every single day!

Most of all, remember that marriage is for keeps. It’s worth keeping and worth the work it takes!

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

Mark 10:7-9

📷 Image credits: cake; ring; graphic