Marriage is a learning process. I’ve found that no matter how long you’ve been married or how great your marriage is, there’s always something new to learn. There’s always some area to improve, or a wrong to forgive.
Hubby and I are celebrating 41 years today. And for us, it’s a celebration of God’s faithfulness. He has helped us stay together and grow in love. Through all these years of trials and blessings, He has taught a lot. And today, we would not be here together without those lessons!
9 tips for a building strong foundation:
1. Protect your unity
Many forces seek to destroy marriage and the unity of couples. Fight for your unity as a couple! Don’t allow outside influences to come between you and the person who is most important to you. Except for God, nothing and no one should ever be more important to you than your partner. Unity is the cornerstone for a strong marriage.
2. Kids are temporary guests
Although children are much loved and welcome additions to the family, they are really only temporary guests. It’s important to love and cherish our children. But they’ll move on. Our spouse, however, is here to stay.
Couples often become so absorbed in their family responsibilities that they neglect their own relationship. Don’t make that mistake. Make an effort to maintain a strong bond with your spouse. Otherwise, when the day comes when it’s just the two again, you might find that you’ve become strangers.
3. Extend forgiveness every day
There will always be things to forgive, both big and small. If unity is the foundation, then forgiveness is the cement that holds it together. Without forgiveness, the foundation begins to crumble, often over small things. A certain look, for example, or a word blurted out without thought.
Why ruin a lifetime of happiness together over such things? And what about the big things? With Christ’s help, we can forgive those too, just as we wish to be forgiven.
4. Don’t try to change your spouse
Stop trying to change your spouse — that’s God’s job. Your job is to love them unconditionally, while also inspiring them to do better. Encouragement and prayer can change hearts and minds, and they’re far more effective than nagging!
Remember that you loved this person enough to marry them. If you wanted someone who was different, you should have chosen someone else!
Marriage is for keeps. It’s worth keeping and worth the work it takes!
Signora Sheila
5. Spend time together
Happiness is being married to your best friend. That’s why it’s important to cultivate a friendship with your spouse. Find time to talk and discover shared interests. This is especially important when children still live in the home and there are so many responsibilities.
6. Read and pray together
Make time to pray and read the Bible together. As disciples of Christ, this will help you to treat your spouse as Christ would. It can also help you to see your spouse as a gift from God and appreciate him or her more.
7. Become a giver and not a taker
Rather than thinking about what you want from your spouse and marriage, try to become the kind of person who gives and keeps giving. It’s important to care deeply about our partner’s happiness and wellbeing and encourage them in every way we can.
8. Manage finances carefully
Financial difficulties can cause a lot of stress. Make a commitment together to get out of and stay out of debt. Try to spend little, be content with simple things, and never spend money you don’t have.
9. Show your appreciation
Nobody’s perfect, including your spouse. If you notice that your partner is making an effort to improve, show your appreciation! Be grateful for them and express your gratitude every day!
Above all, remember that marriage is forever. It’s worth the effort it takes!
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
Mark 10:7-9
Happy Anniversary!
Thanks Ron! But if you notice this post was published in 2017. I’m slowly translating my whole blog into Italian because so many friends here have requested it. Apparently, it’s also bringing my older posts up in the WP Reader or something. This November Mario and I will be doing our 50th! Sure doesn’t seem possible, but it’s been half a century nonetheless!
You nailed it, Sheila! A couple can’t go wrong if they follow your advice. We completed 50 years together last summer but will be celebrating this summer with a family reunion–13 of us for three days in one big cabin!
Wow, that will be so special!! 50 years is quite the goal. God is so good! And congratulations!!
Yesterday I read about Bill Gates and Melinda Gates decision to divorce so I had shared on my watsapp status. Just took your blog to share on my status today.
Thank you Vinodhini! May it help someone in restoring their marriage.
Wow 41 years, that’s remarkable!! Congratulations on your anniversary and wishing many more happy years dear aunty:)
Actually that’s an older post. This year, by God’s grace, we’ll do 45 years!! God has been so faithful to us!
Wow amazing aunty<3
Yes, but only with God’s help!
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you Temi!! God has been faithful to us!