Our favorite pizzeria/restaurant of choice is The Red Wolf or Lupo Rosso. And some of our friends here wonder why because it’s a simple place. Nothing fancy or elegant, but the food is excellent. And we tell them, “It’s all about community.” And to us that’s much more important than elegance!
It’s a come-as-you-are kind of place with low-key pub decor. But it’s cozy and it transmits a sense of belonging. Everyone calls us by name and stops to say ciao. And some even join our table, without invitation.
Like the time an elderly gentleman just sat down next to us, bringing his pizza along. Which was fine with us. Partly because we were about to leave anyway. But mostly because he had recently lost his wife and hated the idea of eating alone.
The importance of community
Like I said, it’s all about community. And that brings me back to my broken ankle several years ago. And the beautiful memory tied to that painful incident. A memory of community and that same pizzeria! Hubby had gone to get take-out pizza, as I couldn’t manage doing our stairs. So they sent their greetings, along with a beautiful rose, taped to my pizza box!
The gift of that rose often reminds me of the benefits of community. Especially in small towns, like ours. Or as our little granddaughter used to say, “The town where everybody knows me!” And she was pretty much right.
Complexity of community
Small communities are like that. And that shrunken world somehow seems a little safer and more embraceable. Which is comforting, especially to young children. But while sometimes safer and more tranquil, village life also has its downsides. Because such a shrunken down world is, in some ways, also more complex…
The man who lives in a small community lives in a much larger world. He knows much more of the fierce variety and uncompromising divergences of men…In a large community, we can choose our companions. In a small community, our companions are chosen for us. Thus in all extensive and highly civilized society groups come into existence founded upon sympathy, and shut out the real world more sharply than the gates of a monastery. There is nothing really narrow about the clan; the thing which is really narrow is the clique.
G.K. Chesterton
In smaller towns, we don’t have much choice. Usually, no one gets to pick their neighbors, townspeople, or shop owners. But in the smaller towns we have fewer choices. What a blessing our people are overall pretty good!
The small town
Here in the village we have to take the paesani (townspeople) as they are:
- That neighbor who blasts his music.
- The one who starts his rototiller at 6AM. On Sunday.
- The little old woman who tries to keep us talking on the street. ALL DAY LONG.
- The bachelor brothers who think that saying ciao will cost them something.
- And the saleswoman at the market stand whose demeanor clearly screams, “You’re not going to buy it? Why not? You looked at it, didn’t you?”
Everyone knows your business. Where you shop, what you buy, and how much your electric bill is. Well OK, not the electric bill…but they do ask sometimes!
Annoying things happen everywhere, but they seem to be magnified in small towns. Not seeing much else, they get blown out of proportion. In bigger cities, it’s a different story. If a store owner is rude, we find another store. If a certain person annoys us, we can just avoid them.
But in small towns there’s no way to avoid these things. Yet even that can be beneficial, because these situations can help us discover what causes their behavior.
- We learn that a certain person is often grumpy because of her problematic children.
- That the seemingly rude store owner worries that she might have to close down.
- That the bachelor brothers are afraid of people. (But they do smile at us now!)
- And maybe one day we’ll learn why the grumpy market woman never smiles. Maybe she’s just forgotten how.
The benefits of creating community
Some of the benefits I’ve found in real community (especially in small town living) are:
- It provides an opportunity for close contact.
- It helps us learn patience and understanding.
- It gives us opportunities to reach out to others with love, help, compassion, and care.
- And another special benefit is when others do the same for us!
We can build real community anywhere – in villages, cities, neighborhoods, churches, schools, and work places. It just takes getting involved, getting to really know others. And seeking ways to reach out and help.
Yes, small town life comes with an inevitable and unavoidable community. Rude store owners and noisy neighbors. But sometimes it also comes with special little gifts. A greeting, a smile, and a fragrant rose. Garden fresh vegetables hanging on our doorknob. Desserts that the neighbors bring. These are just a few special perks we’ve found in small town life, and communities in general!
And that rose, especially, reminded me that it’s in the among the thorns, that we find the roses!
It’s in the midst of thorns that we find the roses. Just as blessings are sometimes hidden in unpleasant places.
Signora Sheila
Signora Sheila 
8 responses to “The Benefits of Community”
Love the story. Building community is hard work but it does have its rewards.
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Yes it really does have rich rewards! The great thing about Italy is that it’s easy to do. The open door and hanging out in the piazzas just naturally leads to it. We are so grateful for It!!
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Your pizzeria story reminded me of our favorite Italian restaurant in one of the cities where we’ve lived. It was a small establishment not far from home; Friday night dates were often spent lingering over our dinner and a cappuccino (for me) and an expresso (for Steve). They too made the effort to get to know us, and I think they served us extra-large portions so we’d have leftovers to take home! When business slowed down, waiters or the owner’s wife would sit with us to chat. It was a small-town experience within the bustle of the city. Perfectly delightful! Makes me wonder: what can I do to provide that experience for people in our current city? Bottom line, it’s simply a matter of loving people, just as Jesus did.
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You’re right Nancy. It is a matter of working at creating community. We are surrounded by so many lonely people who really need people they can simply relate to. I do wonder how many opportunities we often overlook. May the Lord help us to keep our hearts and eyes open!
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Beautiful post! Being from a small town nearly all of my life this really hits home!
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Thanks Ron. Small towns definitely have their own special flavor – and of course for our small Italian towns that means basil and garlic… ;)
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Oh yes! My mother was Italian and my father of Irish descent. Growing up I don’t remember much Italian cooking in our home, my father preferring southern style, but the visits to my mothers family were something else. The smells, seasonings, and tastes were like nothing I had ever sampled. Seemed to me that garlic, oregano, and basil were as common as salt and pepper to my mom’s family!
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Ha! Yes, that’s an Italian kitchen alight! And the food is almost always out of this world!! But good southern style food is always good too!
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