Buddy, Grandma, and the Cleaning Parties

My maternal grandmother was a wonderful grandma, especially considering her high tolerance for rambunctious children. Now, don’t get me wrong. I like kids. But I don’t like having a dozen of them around at the same time, which is what often happened at my grandparents’ home during summer vacations.

Then again, Grandma was a little crazy, in the best sense of the word. She was funny, forgetful, and always doing dizzy things.

Maybe it was from being surrounded by kids most of her life. She came from a large family and raised 8 children of her own during the Great Depression. Then there were numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

This may have contributed to her love of flea markets and garage sales. Grandma loved a bargain, and she was a hoarder. Not that she kept trash. It was all usable stuff—just too much of it!

Her two sisters who lived nearby were also quite giddy. Three fruitcakes loose on the streets. Their thrifting excursions were wild and hilarious, with frequent swigs from the brandy flask.

Grandma’s false teeth never seemed to fit well, so she often took them out and stuffed them in her purse. But they didn’t always make it into her purse!

The three sisters would go back and look for the missing teeth. “Did you happen to find any teeth?” they would ask. Somehow, they always managed to find them! Sometimes, someone would even come up to them holding out the little pouch where Grandma kept her dentures. “I know what you’re looking for!” they would say.

As I said before, Grandma was a little crazy, forgetful, and crazy. Maybe it was all the children. Or maybe it was the brandy. Or both!

She was also legally blind. Untreated glaucoma had left her unable to see more than shadows and how bright the day was.

Yet, she didn’t seem to live in a land of shadows. She was mostly sunny and cheerful. When I think of Grandma, blindness isn’t what comes to mind. It was just a part of her.

She wasn’t the typical 1950s or ’60s grandma, dressed in an apron and holding a wooden spoon. In fact, I never saw her in a dress except in wedding pictures. And the only cookies in her house were store-bought. They were almost always Nilla Wafers, almond windmill cookies, or cream-filled wafer cookies in chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry flavors.

My Aunt Jackie lived in Minnesota and would bring her 5 older children to spend the summer with Grandma and Buddy (that was Grandpa’s nickname) in Michigan. We cousins loved it, we were always begging to spend the night—or a few nights. So, often, there were 11 of us running around the house and yard.

One of our favorite activities was swimming in the Flat River behind their property. However, we always kept a box of salt nearby to pour over the leeches in order to get them off our feet and legs. Kids are willing to put up with a lot of nasty stuff.

Another favorite activity of ours was our “Happy Helpers Club,” which was a bit of a flop. We couldn’t understand why our aunts, uncles, parents, and grandparents didn’t want our help, no matter how willing we were. We were probably better at making a mess than providing useful assistance. Ultimately, our good deeds mostly consisted of holding funerals for dead animals. Frogs, snakes, and the like. Still, we felt that we were doing our part for society, and making the world a cleaner, better place.

Grandma was a heavy smoker, and would often leave burning cigarettes around the house. I guess she couldn’t see them. Also, as I said, she was a little muddled and forgetful. We kids would dutifully go around and put them out, gently scolding her for her dangerous habit.

We loved sneaking those homemade cigarettes. We’d sneak them out of the pantry, which was located off the kitchen. Although I never saw any food there. It was mostly filled with junk and Grandma’s cigatette rolling machine.

My goodness how grown up we felt! Even though we got in big trouble whenever we caught. Still, that was nothing compared to how awful smoking made us feel. It was only in adulthood that we realized how stupid it was!

Grandma and Buddy sort of ran an antique store out of their house. Buddy had a reputation in our area for finding treasures. His great passions were attending auctions, bird watching, playing pool and woodworking. He also loved to fish and hunt (even in the winter), and he almost always came home with a catch, even from his ice fishing trips.

He even had an ice fishing shanty similar to those in the photo below. Ice fishing shanties were a common sight on Michigan’s lakes, of which there were more than 11,000.

An ice shanty was a structure with a hole in the floor placed on a sled so that it could be slidden into place on a frozen lake as a shelter during ice fishing. Through the floor opening a hole was cut into the ice, by which people catch fish with lines and hooks or spears.

Buddy’s shanty was small and simple, but many times they even have heating, bunks, electricity, running water, and cooking facilities.

He was also known as an excellent carpenter. The house I grew up in was filled with his creations, such as beautiful, kitchen cabinets, bookcases, some steeple clocks and a beautiful grandfather clock. I think that’s where my love of clocks came from. My grandfather’s clocks and Grandma’s cuckoo clock.

What I remember most about him is that he was kind, gentle, and patient. He hated gossip and whenever he heard people criticizing others, he’d say, “But for the grace of God, there goes I.”

The old homestead was huge, and I remember 4 large bedrooms upstairs. Plus what I called the 2 “great rooms.” One held the pool table and lots of collectible things, which to us kids was all treasure. Things like old National Geographics, Buddy’s books on birds, odd auction finds, and the antique dishes Grandma had collected.

The other, filled mostly with junk, had a tiny low door where you could bend down and enter a low, dark and scary storage area. Because of that door, I never liked going into that room or down into the equally creepy basement.

Rainy days would find the 11 of us upstairs, rummaging through the treasures.

Uninhabited for the most part, the upstairs was our domain. Except during family gatherings when the men would all head upstairs for pool or games of poker. Or times when the occasional down-on-his-luck aunt or uncle moved in. Then, for some reason, our boisterous presence seemed unwelcome – how strange!

The pool table was a big favorite of ours, and I must say we got pretty good at it! But we also loved playing with the stuff the aunts and uncles (there were 7 of them!) left behind. Paraphernalia they had used in their varied careers as a medical receptionists, Avon or Tupperware representatives, insurance salespersons, and the like.

The upstairs of the big old house was a real treasure trove, and the perfect setting for indoor make-believe. We would set up a sort of shopping center with stores and offices. We would “sell” (at one time or another), insurance, Avon or Tupperware products, clothing, cibi, collectibles, books and antiques.

Occasionally we would transform it all into a make-believe boarding house, complete with boarders, maids, pretend cooks. The snacks were real though, from Grandpa’s huge vegetable garden, or Grandma’s never-ending supply of cookies! We also enjoyed rhubarb stalks dipped in sugar; great for the teeth!

Sunday family gatherings were the norm. After church and Sunday school, we’d change into our play clothes and drive over the river and through the woods in our big old station wagon (many of our cars, it seems, were wagons) to Grandma’s house. What fun and so much food!

Then there were the cleaning parties. Every year, all of us women (young and old) gathered to clean the house from top to bottom. Grandma’s blindness prevented her from doing certain things.

She especially couldn’t climb up to wash her collection of over 300 teapots. They lined the entire kitchen, setting on ceiling-heigh shelves that went around the entire kitchen. Oddly enough, Grandma didn’t like tea, but she loved her cute teapots of so many original shapes! I still have some of them.

Her blindness prevented her from doing many things. But once someone led her to the first booth at a flea market, she was able to make the rounds on her own. She bought all those teapots, glass slippers, and a myriad of other collectibles!

It may seem strange to call cleaning a party. But we had a blast! I remember, even as a teenager, all the fun, the laughter, and the frequent coffee breaks. Not to mention the wonderful feeling of that sparkling kitchen and seeing Grandma’s grateful smile!

Mine was a simple childhood, and mostly a blessed one. We knew how to make our own fun. We delighted in the warmth of a large and loving family. There was some bickering, to be sure. But we were a family that gathered together often, played together, and even worked together.

And I wouldn’t change a thing.

📷 Image credits: woman cleaning | Ice fishing shanties by Khayman | Others are mine.