Signora Sheila

That’s a question I often ask myself.  Not ‘Why am I here on this earth?” No, that question was answered years ago, many years ago at this point, when Christ entered my heart.  I was created because He wanted me to be. Just as He wanted you and  every piece of creation. He loved us and brought us into being. We are here because it is His desire.

But why am I here?

Here in this blogging/social media world?  Could it be that this is something He also wants?

In His providence over our lives, God gives us certain things. Call them gifts or talents. Or perhaps they are simply our leanings, inclinations, or  desires. He places them in our hands or plants them in our hearts. He puts them where He wants them.

I am not here because I want likes or followers (although I love sharing interacting with all of you!) But I am also here because it is a way of capturing and recording the thoughts and impressions that fleet through my mind. A way of recording both the past and the present: the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Because when we look back at the past, we see that God turns even the ugly into beauty.)

Sometimes I find myself jotting down random seemingly nonsensical thoughts. Things that Hubby and I like to call ‘flying paper wind.’

That’s a name we invented with our grandchildren one windy day years ago when we saw paper dancing about in the wind. If paper could have thoughts or feelings, it seemed to be saying “I’m glad to exist, to be here. I’m happy to be dancing.”

We turned that flying paper into a song and would sing it with the children in the car, along with our  ‘Zoom zoom’ song.

When nonsensical makes sense

Of course, we know that sheets of paper have no thoughts or feelings, apart from what we put on them. But our nonsensical nonsense somehow made sense. If that makes any sense at all! (Which I doubt, but at the time it made perfect sense to us.)

So why am I here?

I realize that God has given me this platform. He has given me the ability and inclination to write. It comes so easily to me most of the time. Hubby tells me that he labors over every paragraph he has to write.

So why do I sometimes run from it?

Why do I run from that which I know comes from God? It’s a question I have long wrestled with. The sad truth is that I fear disapproval, rejection or ridicule. So instead of embracing that which I know comes from God, I sometimes run from it.

Italy is not an easy place in which to serve God. But not for reasons you might expect. It’s not so much that the Catholic church opposes Protestantism and the state favors Catholicism by granting them special favors. These things are certainly challenging. But one of Italy’s main problems, as outlined in Operation World, is the lack of “cooperation among churches.” Division has been a legacy of Protestant believers here.

Thankfully, this situation is slowly changing, but dealing with it is the hardest thing of all. I think most believers sometimes struggle with the rejection and fear created by this critical atmosphere. Rather than encouraging one another, it often seems that some people are just waiting for others to fail. Perhaps they do this because they are afraid that the other person will become more successful or influential than them.

Paul’s words to the Galatians spring to mind: When we have the opportunity (and we can be sure that God will provide such opportunity) we must do good to others – especially our fellow Christians.

So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Galatians 6:10

Let us hope for the best for others. Pray for them and be their cheerleading squad! Just imagine what they could achieve with that kind of support.

So what if they get ahead of you? It’s good because then they can lead the way. They might gain more influence? There’s nothing wrong with that — after all, we’re on the same team. When one of us wins, we all win as long as we’re working together for God’s kingdom.

Encouraging others is not a problem for me. If I love someone, I want them to succeed. If I wanted them to fail, then I would be nothing but a narcissist. And I don’t want to be such a despicable person.

No, my problem is another. I tend to run away or hide from any feared rejection. If I don’t try anything, then I can’t fail and others can’t wish for – or even try to bring about – my failure, can they?

This leads me to an even greater problem. Because not trying is a type of failure in itself, and I believe it saddens God’s heart. After all, He is our biggest cheerleader. He wants us to succeed, get ahead and have influence for Him.

If we sit in a corner covering our face like the bunny in the photo, we cannot bring glory to God. Nor can we glorify Him if we hide our talents away instead of using them for Him.

So today, I’m making a declaration. I’m finished with hiding and running away from bad, unpleasant people. Those who harm others or wish them to fail are the ones are in the wrong. They are the ones who should be covering their faces in shame.

I’m going to run like the boy with the paper aeroplane who loves to imagine that it’s soaring to great heights when it’s barely off the ground. But his little paper aeroplane wouldn’t have flown at all if he had hidden it away.

Similarly, our talents aren’t at all effective if we hide them away instead of using them. So with God’s help I intend to use my talents to the best of my ability.

What I do may seem nonsensical and destined for failure, but it’s far more sensible than hiding away. Especially when we have an extraordinary squad cheering us. So extraordinary, in fact, that it’s out-of-this-world!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2

📷 Image credits: straw hat; boy with airplane; scared rabbit.