4 Principles for Taming the Tongue

Communication has existed since the beginning, and it began with God. He created everything, through his speech. He simply spoke and it all came into being. God has always used communication to create and build, and he wants us to do likewise.

God’s word constructs

With it he created the earth, making a safe place for his creatures, providing for our needs, and setting protective boundaries. There was no negativity until Adam and Eve decided to disobey God and stray from his flawless ways.

Then everything took on negative aspects, even communication. And we see these results even in Genesis’ early chapters, with blame, anger, evasion, and lying.

Communication today is more complex in many ways, but it’s always a transmission of thoughts, feelings, and ideas. And the fact remains that God wants us to use communication to construct, not to tear down.

Using communication to edify

The problem is that our sinful nature pushes us to use communication as a slashing weapon. That’s the issue at stake – we need to learn to use communication to edify not destroy.

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

Luke 6:45

Christ teaches that our speech stems from the thoughts in our hearts. From them come good or evil, love or hate, kindness, or meanness. I don’t think we want to be mean, uncaring people. Yet when we neglect our hearts, we risk becoming that way.

It all boils down to how we fill our hearts.

Good thoughts, words, and actions come from filling our hearts with God’s goodness. That’s key to opening our lips (or hitting that send button) in a way that edifies.

In moments of anger or frustration, we rarely stop and think clearly. So we risk spewing our negativity out on others. So let’s look at 4 simple truths that can help us transform our tongues into building tools!

4 principles for taming the tongue

1. See others through Christ’s eyes.

This can help us love them in the same way he does. Even during difficult, unpleasant situations or strife.

2. Take in wholesome communication.

As the saying says, “Garbage in, garbage out.” Much of what’s out there in films, books, media, and online is negative and destructive. But Philippians 4:8 teaches us to think good thoughts. When we take in lovely thoughts, we’re more likely to think them of others.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 

Philippians 4:8

3. Remember Christ’s forgiveness.

Remembering the love and forgiveness Christ showers on us can help us treat others with that same kindness.

4. View yourself in the right light.

Criticism often stems from our own pride or insecurity, which can tempt us to cut others down, hoping to make ourselves look better.

In Christ, we are all equal, and equally needy of him.

We are all equal in Christ, and equally needy of him. This serves as an effective leveler of both our pride and our true value.

So when pride or insecurity creeps in, find someone to compliment or encourage. Helping others can keep us from focusing on ourselves – and help us see that we are all in the same struggle together.

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.

Matthew 12:34-35

📷 Image credits: women; finger before lips; keyboard

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