I’m Back Again & with the Light I Can See!

I’ve been absent from this blog again, which seems to happen far too often. But I’m back now, and I’m immensely thankful for all the Lord’s goodness and faithfulness. I was hospitalized for another surgery on October 23. (I had barely recovered from my prolapse surgery done on July 22.) This time, it was an emergency operation to repair a detached retina.

It happened suddenly while I was working on my computer. Everything in my right eye suddenly started to go completely black. It was as if the aperture of a camera was closing, leaving only a narrow window of vision in the eye. Looking up or down, I could see nothing but total darkness. It was scary and disconcerting, so I went straight to my ophthalmologist.

I am grateful for so many things…

• I’m grateful that the Lord helped me realize that something was seriously wrong with my eye, which prompted me to rush to the eye doctor.
• That the doctor acted quickly and sent me to the emergency room at the best eye clinic in our area, where I underwent emergency surgery that day.
• That we caught it in time for the doctors to attempt to repair the damage, even though they made no guarantees of success.
• And that the surgery went well and that the surgeons are pleased with my progress.

I won’t deny that learning how serious a detached retina can be shook me up quite a bit. If not diagnosed in time, it can cause permanent and total blindness in that eye.

The healing process is very slow because the eye must absorb the gas that is inserted during surgery. This gas holds the retina in place while it heals, and absorption of the gas can take months. It was like looking through a thick fog. However, as the gas disappeared, my vision slowly improved. It seems to have returned to normal, and I don’t think I’ll need new glasses. We’ll see what the doctors say at my next checkup on January 13.

My eye is still sore because they spent a couple of hours digging around in it, looking for holes or tears that needed repairing. Since then, trying to see has been tiring and stressful. Reading and writing has also been extremely difficult. Needless to say, I was unable to blog.

Then, I came down with a bad cold or flu. Apparently, undergoing surgery after surgery, followed by weeks of cortisone/steroid treatment, has weakened my immune system. I was feeling battle-weary. But I am so grateful for God’s healing touch and goodness.

The overwhelming darkness of blindness

As I said, almost losing sight in one eye was scary. The nearly total blackness in that eye was overwhelming.

This has made me grateful for light. When a retina is detached, it cannot capture and send light to the optic nerve, resulting in blindness. My brief and partial experience of it made me realize that total darkness is probably one of the most terrible aspects of hell. I cannot imagine the anguish of being in complete darkness, especially the spiritual darkness of being separated from God.

I’m equally certain that one of heaven’s greatest blessings is complete light, free from any darkness or shadow. Jesus is the light of the world and of the entire universe. His presence will fill heaven, making a place of light and beauty, totally filled with His presence and glory.

God is light and there is no darkness in Him. He has given us the light of His Word to guide us through this dark world. His light will also guide us through the darkest valley of all, the valley of the shadow of death.

I recently read that the valley of the shadow of death is not completely dark. We know this because shadows cannot form without a source of light. Therefore, although there are shadows in that valley, the Lord’s light is also present, so we need not fear walking through it.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4 ESV

So, should we fear the dark valleys that we sometimes encounter in this life? The Lord never abandons His children and His light will always be with us, no matter how deep and dark the valley.

I thank the Lord that I didn’t lose my sight. I thank Him, too, that because even if I were to lose sight, I could never be “twice blind,” as a blind Christian I knew once said. Our eyes may go blind, but in Christ we will always be able to see with the eyes of faith!

This experience has made me yearn for more light, especially because I see that the world is growing darker. I plan to return to my Bible school studies soon. I need the Lord and the light of His Word more and more as time goes by.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

John 8:12

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